death

i thought it was the end.

prepared myself for it.

i went there, ready to give up myself. my freedom. my life.

it was like a dream come true--for someone else.

mine never consisted of that. it's too early. too much.

but i've got nothing left to do.


i was ready to die.
braced myself even.

i was about to jump over the cliff when an invisible hand stopped me.

just in time.

one more week.

FEB fever. :)

february.

so many memories.
too many memories.

UPfair has always been one of the many things i look forward to.
or it's the only thing i look forward to in a year.

but with it comes a line of mementos i just want to forget. or remember.
or keep with me forever. like an old picture. or torn letters.

heart's day. valentines.
birthday.

it's just too much.

and i know this year i'm making more of them memories.

too bad.

sooooo excited anyway. :)

i'm getting old.

shoot me.

i don't really care.

if only there's an easy way out i wouldn't budge from where i'm standing, or sitting.

i wouldn't do anything at all-- just lay on my bed and sleep for hours. or watch movies. or be lost in a sea of endless memories where i could linger on and on and on.

and never go back to reality.

that's how depressed i am.